Hurtful
by LoversLove
Summary: Oh God. Emma’s mind was racing she had just spilled her soul to her best friend, possibly on speakerphone. And possibly to her ex. She could have just told Sean that she was still completely in love with him. Please Review
1. Chapter 1

Emma shot out of her bed. She had that dream again.

The dream where she was with Sean, and they were happy.

They couldn't be better. He had proposed in a field of sunflowers.

And she was so happy, she nearly cried.

This happens every night. And every night, it does end in tears.

She made her way towards the bathroom for a box of tissues, thinking about him. He was probably happy, alone. Without her to think about he shouldn't have a care in the world. Manny is right, I need to get over him. He isn't the only guy in the world.

Right, he's just the only one that matters.

I'm with Damian now, I should be happy. He's hot and all, but, he's no Sean. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm attracted to him and all, but he's just not… not someone I can spend my life with. Not someone who would take me to a sunflower field and propose. And definitely not someone whose proposal she would accept. He was just… just Damian.

Damn, no more tissues.

As she made her way back towards the bed, she thought about the party. It only happened a couple of nights ago, but she still had yet to get over it. She had been so mean, so hurtful, he loved her, still. She should have simply accepted him back, ran up to him and kissed him, even with Ellie already on him. But she hadn't. She told him she loved Damian, and was going to stay with him.

It was her biggest mistake.

"He's a lover, not a fighter, that's why I'm with him" where my exact words. How could I be so cold? If he knew what was going through my head. I just, I didn't want to get hurt again. I can't stay with someone who I will hear from every now and then. It's one thing to have a boyfriend who won't call you, but to have one that you have no way of reaching for months on end, that's sheer torture. She couldn't handle that.

She groaned loudly as she thudded back into her bed.

Sleeping wasn't an option anymore. The dream would come back, wake her up, and make her cry. She needed a distraction. A getaway. Somewhere to go where things weren't so complex. Where he exboyfriend didn't make her feel more then you actual boyfriend did. Somewhere where her friends can give more advice other then, "get over him." Somewhere where she could be herself.

The only place that had ever felt so right was Sean's arms.

And she had already made it so that wasn't even a tangible option. He was at Jay's for the night, but he would be gone again soon. And she would be here. In Degrassi, waiting for some moment to change her feelings. Waiting for her second one and only to come around the corner and sweep her off of her feet. It was tragic how unlikely any of this was.

She wiped her nose gently, tears along with it.

Manny was probably up, doing god knows what in God knows where. She had a knack for that. Emma moved across the room and grabbed her cell phone from her desk, silently praying that Manny wasn't at Jay's, talking to Sean about what had happened. If she was, there was no doubt she would leave out the details about my dreams, and my lack of love for Damian.

She always spoke the truth, even when she shouldn't.

Emma's tiny fingers scrolled through her contact list, the whole time hating the fact that the M's weren't closer to the beginning of the alphabet. Finally, upon finding her name, called her. The phone rang in her ear, the drone creating a somewhat serene state of mind, the one someone would go into before fading off to bed. Manny's high voice quickly put an end to the peace in her mind, and snapped her out of her pre-sleep glaze.

"Em? Are you alright? Why did you call me so late?!" Her voice seemed a little impatient, as if her phone went off in a movie. Sighing, Emma unraveled the story of her dream to Manny, and her thoughts on Sean, only pausing here and there to breathe. Once finished Emma waited for her friends response, the usual, "get over him, you have Damian."

"Uhh Emma, we'll be over in a minute…"

We?! We who?! Who was there with Manny?! Oh God. Emma's mind was racing she had just spilled her soul to her best friend, possibly on speakerphone. And possibly to her ex. She could have just told Sean that she was still in totally and completely in love with him.


	2. Chapter 2

Manny put her phone down quickly after uttering that sentence that sent Emma spinning. She got up swiftly and moved to Jay's closet and pulled out her jacket. Sean and Jay had been in the other room, talking about Emma, love and such. She thought it was really sweet that he boyfriend was there for his friends. She would have to tell him that later.

She entered the room and looked at them, sitting on separate sides of the couch, looking blankly ahead. Jay just looked bored while Sean looked desperate and sad. Sighing, she rubbed Jay's shoulder and smiled.

"Meet me at the park in an hour." Manny smirked as she formed a plan.

"Where do you think your going Miss. Santos?" Jay seemed desperate for the company, since he was stuck with silent, sad Sean. Manny leaned into his ear and whispered something soft, maybe even dirty into his ear. Whatever it was got his mind off the depressing mood lurking in the room, and made him focus on the brighter.

"See you guys then." She smiled and pranced out the door before Jay could realize she didn't answer the question. Sean looked over at his friend, then back at his lap.

"Remember when me and Em were like that…?" Jay sighed and started to comfort his depressed friend again. His life wasn't to fun right now.

Emma paced around her room, nervous. She had broken a sweat. The nerves were killing her. How could she be so stupid to spill her guts to a friend who constantly leaves her phone on speaker? Her head was racing, she felt like she was going to pass out.

There was a simple knock on the trap door leading to the lawn, Emma sprinted to get it. Once it was open, she was both relieved and disappointed to only see Manny there. Part of her, deep down, wanted Sean to be there, and kiss her senseless and… No. Emma cursed for thinking like that.

Manny jumped down into the room, a smile plastered on her face as she remembered the night when she came home drunk and fell into the sink. Though the times after that were indeed rough, that night seemed so funny looking back on it.

She guided Emma to the bed and sat her down for a deep and long discussion. It lasted almost an hour before Manny realized that they needed to go to the park to meet Sean and Jay.

"How bout we go for a walk through the park," Manny said, in hopes that nature girl Emma would miss the open doors. Relief washed over her was Emma quickly agreed, deciding that fresh, clean air was better then stuffy, basement air, and would help her think things through.

They snuck back out the trapdoor and walked towards the park, talking only about memories of her and Sean. And discussing why they couldn't be together, at least for right now.

Sean clutched his coat tighter to him as him and Jay sat on the rickety swings. He and Emma had some good times on these swings. He was just about to reminisce when Jay started bitching about Manny being late. He let out a small smile, some things never change. He never stopped bitching, and Manny never stopped not caring.

Sean glanced on the ground, and found two long shadows coming towards the swings. He looked up quickly seeing Emma there, not looking at him, but the ground, still gorgeous. His mouth went dry as he watched her walk, unsuspecting, towards them.

Emma looked up slightly, realizing that they weren't alone. Her eyes widened, and a smile spread on her face before she could realize what was really going on. He walked up to her, and she looked up at him, he looked perfect. Something she could never tell him.

"Emma…I…" Sean had no idea what to say, but just looking at her was enough. There had never been a more perfect moment. Manny and Jay didn't even exist. It was just him, his girl, and a swing.

Emma stared lovingly, her eyes said everything. I'm sorry, I missed you, and I still love you were all in her eyes. His spelled out the same. I love you and I already forgave you. And with that, they both leaned in, and kissed.

Once again, Sean became the other man in one of Emma's relationships. And once again, neither of them cared.

They broke apart minutes later and just laughed. His arms were surrounding her waist, while her hands had been tangled in his hair. Reality could wait, Damian could wait, and the army could too. If they had to wait for this perfection, the world could wait till the morning to wake them up from this beautiful act of pure love.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma cried on her bed, this was the second time this had happened, the second time. How could she have been so stupid. Once again, she was in her room, with a pregnancy test, after being intimate with Sean, who was leaving for the army. Great, only this time, he was already gone. After that night they had together, they were inseperable for the next two days. She had broken up with Damian just to be with him again, and then, he left. She knew he had to, she had known from the start, but it still hurt.

She felt so weak knowing that he was gone, and that she would most likely have to raise this child by herself. She was already starting to get morning sickness, and had gained a few pounds. She knew that she was pregnant, and she knew that this test was going to say so. She just didn't know what she was going to tell everyone at Degrassi, or at home. Manny was supposed to come by any minute now, she had texted her a while back.

Emma heard the doorbell, and knew her mother would answer the door to an anxious Manny, who would then rush down here, followed by my now anxious mother. Emma gathered up her strength and sat upright on the bed, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Like she had said it, Manny ran down the stairs with her mother, both looking at her as if she was a cute little puppy. They both walked up to her slowly and sat next to her, asking what was wrong. Of course Manny knew, but she had kept her mother out in the dark long enough.

"I think I'm pregnant." Emma's voice cracked as the words slipped out of her mouth. She turned to her mother, seeing her shocked, yet caring face. She rubbed her head and held her, listening to her little girl whimper in her arms. Manny smiled and grabbed the pregnancy tests box, opening it and taking one out. Emma let herself out of her mothers loving embrace and grabbed the test, taking a huge gulp of air in before entering her bathroom.

Her mother and Manny sat anxiously outside waiting for her to come out. Spike looked to Manny, who was biting her lip and wringing her hands, as if waiting to see if she got an acting gig. Spike pushed her hair back, and sighed, looking towards the bathroom door yet again, waiting for her daughter to come out, wondering who the father was.

Emma slid the door open and placed the test on her desk, sitting next to both Manny and her mother again. Her mother spoke up quickly, taking advantage of the awkward and nervous silence. "Emma, if your pregnant, then whose the father?" It was a innocent question, yet Emma felt the tears well up in her eyes thinking about the father. She put her head in her hands and cried, not answering her mothers question.

"Was it Damian? Oh honey, is that why you to broke up?" Her mother wrapped her arms around her, trying to comfort her. Manny shook her head, and rubbed Emma's back, about to tell Spike that it had been Sean, right before he left for war. But Emma beat her to it.

"It wasn't Damian, Mom, it was Sean." She barely croaked out the sentence as she sobbed. She had gotten pregnant by Sean, and now he was gone. She was so stupid. Her mother's eyes widened, and a small smile set on her lips, she had always liked Sean more then Damian. She continued to comfort her daughter, now wondering when it was that they had sex.

After a couple minutes, Manny stood and made her way over to the desk and the test sitting on it. She looked at it quickly before looking back at her friend and Spike. "Emma, your pregnant." Her voice was clear, and strong, yet at the same time, strangely comforting. She looked at her friend and mother, before taking a deep breath.

"I'm keeping the baby." She announced it quickly, and confidently, so that no arguments could be made about it. Her mother and friend smiled and they sat, discussing options for the baby and for Emma, but the only thought on Emma's mind was how she was going to tell Sean, and how he was going to take it.


End file.
